Becoming a new me
My last post, which was too long ago, was about rediscovering ministry. As I sit having a coffee on a rare quarter day I feel really challenged to rediscover me. Half an hour into my coffee (it was Costa's largest) it started to feel good to have a bit of time to myself, to be me!
This begged the question - who am I? What does it mean to be me? In the manic busy-ness of ministry have I lost a bit of who I am?
As soon as I started thinking about this it became really hard to remember who I was, what I did to relax pre-ministry. A man who read novels, who did the garden, who did DIY, who did lot's of things that I just don't seem to have time to do anymore. What have I become?
I've become a father and gained far more joy than any book, garden, shelf or TV programme could ever bring. Perhaps this has helped to change a bit of who I am, I have become something of the man that God wants me to be, by putting off the old me I may be able to change at least two lives for the better.
I've become a theologian and found myself deeper in the God I adore. Ok this is one area that is hugely neglected and one area where ministry really does get in the way. Despite that, I managed to finally engage with some of the many theological discussions which happen through Twitter, so often I struggle to engage as they whizz by and I whizz in the other direction and yet this morning it felt good.
I have become a leader, a minister and a pastor. I may struggle with the concept of an out and out priestly calling and yet perhaps this is something of what God wants me to become.
As my second coffee arrives, I wonder whether I need to rediscover me (looking back) or whether I need to discover me (looking at the present and the future). Perhaps I have missed the fact that over the years of being a husband, a father and a minister I am actually putting off the old self and engaging with the self that the Spirit is creating within me. I wonder...
This begged the question - who am I? What does it mean to be me? In the manic busy-ness of ministry have I lost a bit of who I am?
As soon as I started thinking about this it became really hard to remember who I was, what I did to relax pre-ministry. A man who read novels, who did the garden, who did DIY, who did lot's of things that I just don't seem to have time to do anymore. What have I become?
I've become a father and gained far more joy than any book, garden, shelf or TV programme could ever bring. Perhaps this has helped to change a bit of who I am, I have become something of the man that God wants me to be, by putting off the old me I may be able to change at least two lives for the better.
I've become a theologian and found myself deeper in the God I adore. Ok this is one area that is hugely neglected and one area where ministry really does get in the way. Despite that, I managed to finally engage with some of the many theological discussions which happen through Twitter, so often I struggle to engage as they whizz by and I whizz in the other direction and yet this morning it felt good.
I have become a leader, a minister and a pastor. I may struggle with the concept of an out and out priestly calling and yet perhaps this is something of what God wants me to become.
As my second coffee arrives, I wonder whether I need to rediscover me (looking back) or whether I need to discover me (looking at the present and the future). Perhaps I have missed the fact that over the years of being a husband, a father and a minister I am actually putting off the old self and engaging with the self that the Spirit is creating within me. I wonder...
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